Being Comfortable is a state of Mind

Happy Wednesday  to all you good people. Today, random thoughts have been brewing in my brain and one just bubbled to the top. I am never really ever , ever comfortable. The reasons for this stems from youth and even into adulthood. What I realized is every time I got somewhat comfortable, things always had a way of backfiring. I do not know if I am putting just this feeling out there in the universe.   I have always gotten used to the other shoe dropping. What I have realized though is Human Beings seemed to be hardwired into always looking at the negative even when trying to be positive.

I have realized I need to stop worrying and just let life come. Start focusing on the positive and things going right. Whether I sound like a hippy and always focusing on the positive. I do not mind doing things outside of my comfort zone. It is a matter of training my mind to think positively . This is going to take some time since it took most my life thinking negatively.  I found a great saying this morning and I am going to add it to my morning mantra ” STOP BEING AFRAID OF WHAT COULD GO WRONG AND THINK OF WHAT COULD GO RIGHT”

As Mr. Miyagi said ” STAY FOCUSED” So that what it is going be.

Peace Loves

Why do they call it Wireless when you are still Hardwired?

Hey my good people. Unfortunately for the 3rd time in my life, I have lost my Damn CELL PHONE . It is gone. Not sure where. I am thinking there is a black hole and in the other dimension, my other self has my phone.Anyhoo, you know why I am fretting about it so much??? because I wont get my images back. I had a memory card from my old phone in there and it had all my pictures. Being a photographer, my property being out there random UGH… So annoying.

However, I realized that not being wireless or stuck to the hip to my phone is a bit refreshing. After all, I am not one of those whose phone gets blown up with calls and texts every second. I used my phone mostly for checking my emails, taking pics, checking FB and using instagram. The next seven days well 8 , I will be without a phone . Right now, It is just nice. Take me back to when I was younger when you were not low jacked into everyone and everything. When a status message was actually told to you rather than posted.  You know where waited for someone and not texting every second, “where are the hell are you?” Truth be told, I am a bit of a homebody for various reasons. Main being I am usually catching up on sleep or writing or blogging. There is a level of comfort in not being hard wired into the net. I swear sometimes I feel like a am battery in the matrix

Maybe the above is my code. What I do find funny is even though I am electronically blogging, how comfortable we as humans have gotten with being hardwired into this supposedly growing wireless world. We live for free WiFi spots, phone plans with 4G (advise what 4g actually means)m I just know its fast, Instant insults or like o our statuses, losing our grasp of the English language faster than when it was made, questioning how we spell certain things. It seems so weird to me now that we even need to announce when we are doing the most base of things. Things we would tell our friends afterwards we have to announce to whole world. I know I am guilty of it. Hell I tweet but I have two blogs I update and I actually do learn a lot from the people I follow and things I would like to do I an find info on from people who are actually doing it. I know the internet or world wide web ( yes I am showing my age) connects us to the world and while I am happy for the level of transparency that is occurring ( especially in media and politics), I always wonder when is enough really enough for the everyday person? I have friends on Facebook that post every second as if is twitter. Whether sociopolitical or the fact they did something asinine, somehow everybody needs to know. The worst offenders are the ones whose feelings get hurt and proceed to post these vague statuses begging for attention (self esteem issues much). I know I went off an different tangent than where I began but again, it will be nice to not be constantly checking my phone for messages that may not even be coming in.

PEACE

North Kakalaky……… Stop Excuse me North Carolina… What’s really going on?

Morning Good People. Now I know I have a few southerners that do read my blog from time to time so this is not meant to offend but I am sure many I have you have read about North Carolina passing an amendment in their constitution banning same sex marriage and civil unions.  It seems as though most people who voted didn’t realize that it would also impact heterosexual couples as it also banned civil unions.

Copyright CBSNEWS.COM

From a report on CBS, I am pulling this particular statement…

Tami Fitzgerald, head of the group Vote FOR Marriage NC, which backed the amendment, told the AP it sends a message to the country.

“The whole point is simply that you don’t rewrite the nature of God’s design based on the demands of a group of adults,” she said.

That above statement is extremely loaded.  The discussion of church and state again. What I am not understanding is when did this country turn its clock backward. Why are church and state now bedfellows? Now before anyone says I do not believe in God, that would be a lie. I believe in god, universe, mother nature, father time and omnipotent being. But we seem to forget the bible and most tomes of religion were written by man meaning man is dictating what a being we cannot see but only feel said. While some tenets ring true, if god made us in his image, then why is this image skewed when it comes to homosexuals? (Again, food for thought)

Some states want to keep it man and woman but as we have seen time and time again, this whole sanctity of marriage thing somehow just doesn’t work. There is has been such a breakdown of the marriage state between heterosexuals but we want to keep it just between men and women because………..

Again, my views may be skewed but to me… if two people are happy and in love, they wish to spend the rest of their lives together , what does it matter if they are straight or gay??? what does someone’s happiness have to then be ok’d by religion and religious individuals.

And now civil union is no illegal. Again, what some legislators may be slow to realize is that with all these lovely amendments banning a very hot button issues such as gay marriage, it will have a effect than just that issue….

Let’s think about a few potential scenarios…

1) Tourism drops for states that do not support this issue

2) Moving out the state…and no new moves into the state

3) Losing votes for any politicians against this issue;

I am sure there are many scenarios that more people can come up with but honestly, break it down to dollars and cents because though it seems this government wishes to put us back in the dark ages but if people will really pay attention.Believe when we really find our voices, this government will have to move itself forward again.

Oh Yes… I have an attitude…. let’s examine why

Hey People. I found this above e-card on one of the many funny pages on Face Book. The statement above rings true. Personality and attitude are two different things.  Personality can be something developed over time and is a permanent part of you. Attitude is something that is assumed t certain points and especially dealing with certain people.

The problem is no one knows exactly what type of attitude you will have because it comes about depending on your feeling about that person. Even when you love someone, sometimes you just want to be bothered yet they will come talk to you, sit with you and inside you are probably crying out ” JESUS, give some space” But  you do not want to be too hurtful so you may say .. just give me a few minutes. Even with that somewhat pleasant statement, there is the Question “Well why do you need a few minutes? Simply state” Not in the best of moods”. Most people will take that as their cue to exit your space.

We try our best to put our best faces forward when meeting new people and those who mean a lot to us.

For example, today I received a phone call that really has set my attitude off. Long story short, because of my error in breaking rules at my old job, they wish to protest my unemployment. Let me be clear. I broke a rule. I did not steal but they are going to protest after i signed off on what i did.

Really?!?!?!?!? So after being unceremoniously dismissed, you are protesting what I said happened even though I signed off on what happened!!! wow. Way to stick to the little person. But you know what, they do not treat people right anyway so this behavior doesn’t surprise. So again, i had to relay what I had told them to the state. I did and you know what, though upset, I do not ever have to deal with them again. I am gainfully employed and I no longer need to collect. ( I was not even going to file anymore) So basically, the universe made it clear though I was not going too. But sometimes, we need these clear messages so we can remember the people and places we deal with. Now while I could blast the name of the company here, what would be the point? I am not messing with my karma just to spite them. They messed with mine and what ever retribution happens to them, I do not care to know.

Again, though I am angry (though not as angry as earlier), everything in life tests us. It is up to you to choose how you wish to deal with it.

All I need is strength now to reinforce my soul and not lose my smile or happiness because of this ISSUE.

Notice the difference between personality and attitude. I hope you do

New Relationship Matrix…. yes I used matrix cause I swear I am caught in it

Hey Good People.  I know I have been harping on relationships for bit. There is a valid reason. I swore I had a handle on what relationships were. You know two people..love, friendships, small things build up , anger, fights, breakup, marriage children…all those wonderful feelings and emotions that we human beings can’t control

But as of late, I have been noticing a trend and it is one I am trying to get comfy with. This trend is the ex’s knowing or having access to their ex ‘s information and new life. Now before somebody goes “Well what if they have children??” Um, I am not talking about those relationships. After all, you both brought a child in the world so your connection is kinda permanent.  No.. what I am talking about is you have broken up with the individual yet there are still texts, phone calls and emails that seem to not stop.

I am kinda understanding though because I partly blame social media and how people never really want to end relationships especially if you guys really broke up because you realized you were better friends than lovers.  You know, stalking ex’s page on FB or twitter account. 

I will say that I do have some level of contact with my ex’s but again that depends on how our relationship ended. Again, I am the type to let people go. I always have been. I do not fight over guys and if I am not chosen, i go into oblivion (at least in their world). After all, I didn’t win and why would I make an ass of myself.

Now my access to my ex’s is like honestly mostly through Face book. Messages of how are you? hows the fam? hows life treating you and the infamous Happy Birthday reminder. I do have contact with one of my ex’s family but that’s because they are great people but again I do not make my presence as heavily felt because I am not part of that relationship anymore.  There is a certain level of space given because I respect the fact that I am not part of that relationship anymore.

But I am not the queen of the random Text. Meaning, my ex’s will not receive a text out of the blue on some random day with some weird question or update. I am sure you guys may have seen or heard by now about the ex-girlfriend who showed up to her ex boyfriend’s wedding and began a fight…

Ex girlfriend Brawls at wedding <—- check the link

REALLY!?!?!?! So she runs up in her ex’s wedding and starts a fight with the bride… Again.. This to me is TOO MUCH ACCESS AND SHE HAD TOO MUCH INFORMATION ABOUT HER EX…..

That example above though extreme is very telling about how we are now handling past relationships. I do not wish any ill will on any of my ex’s. After all, I want people to be happy, fulfilled and moving forward but My reach out is through message and honestly I am so transparent that if their new main squeeze doesn’t want them to have any contact with past loves, I am the type to totally respect and not interfere with that relationship. Though I am fully reasonable , I have my jealous tendencies but I keep them in check. I respect that there were people prior to me but I am slowly realizing that I have to get acquainted with the past coming back.

We need a new relationship how to book for these updated and supposedly modern times.

Why I have my many questions on the Sanctity of Marriage?

Now, I have had my issues with marriage since youth. Unfortunately, my mom and dad’s marriage did not bode well.( he was physically and mentally abusive). My mom divorced his abusive ass. The rest of the women in my family married fools and non-caring men who had children and decided to go off and make other families. While, I can sit here and blame the men, I do fault the women who allowed this to happen instead of just letting them go (I’m digressing). But seeing how marriage has become a mockery at times, I wonder why this country is an uproar about gays  or homosexuals ( which one is more PC, I can’t keep up) when heterosexuals cannot seem to get it right for themselves.

But this post is not about the right for gays to get married. I personally think they should and get all the perks and tax breaks that come with it . This post is actually about the sanctity of marriage.

Recently while I was at my job, I witnessed something I thought would only be saved for Skinemax movies. For those of you who maybe confused about what Skinemax means, it simply is the cable channel Cinemax which is known for showing soft core porn movies. ( cleared up for you. good, let’s proceed). So, one of my co-workers is married and has been married it seems since about the age of 18. He is 20 now. He is going to school in NYC while his spouse is back in their home state. They both planned to live in NYC and they are both saving up. (This is the intel I have gathered). One day, my co-worker was assisting a customer and everything seemed NORMAL.  As I going about my duties, I noticed the customer was waiting outside. Again, normal because people do meet people. It just got strange when my co-worker left hand in hand with said gentleman and walked off. As I watched this transpire, I look over to another co-worker with this incredulous look on my face who simply stated, Girl, that happens more than you know and always for money..

SCREECH. HALT.

Now this person is married, spouse is at least 1,000 miles away. You need money and instead of possibly reaching out to your spouse for support, you will risk your marriage and your safety for a date this will pay for your “services”?

You know the boy who cried wolf??? Well I cry BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Things like this cause me to give marriage the side eye. After all, we always bitching about people being faithful while just being in a relationship and then marriage you know.. better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live… now you have to worry about your spouse bringing potentially life threatening issues home.  I know this isn’t anything new but seriously, why get married if you cannot control your urges and your selfish exploits just so you can be “happy”? Why go through the issues of guilt and drama when this particular circumstance can be avoided?

If people do not have respect for themselves or other people, than why get married? Why waste the effort and time. Life wasn’t built to be easy but damn causing drama unnecessarily….

So if my whole view on marriage is skewed and may not be something I see in my future, these are the reasons. I have seen the good and struggles and marriages get stronger, humans are fickle and I would not like to be a situation where somebody may not want to be in. We all hope we make the right choices in mates but since most people don’t know themselves that well, how can you expect to truly know someone else. I just hope my co-worker protected himself and won’t bring anything home to his spouse ( no matter how loosely he seems to use the term)

F*(&ing idiot.

The most dreaded phrase in any language : ” We need to talk”

Hey good People. At some point in each of over lives, we have heard that dreaded phrase. Whether parents, significant other or friend, the ” We need to talk” statement brings up feelings of fear and dread and usually will result in being told about yourself. I have used this statement a few times in my life and honestly, I really hated it. The reason why this statement sucks is because why would you wait so long to tell someone what exactly is bothering you. Usually, this comes when there is a build up of things about that person that really upset you. You have let these things fester for so long that it almost becomes a blur of anger and emotion. Why do we as human beings always hold on to issues instead of honestly dealing it when it happens? I find that it is just like putting something in a pressure cooker. It builds and builds and then some minute thing occurs and then we blow up like a powder keg.  The person on the end of said explosion may be slightly confused as to why something so miniscule would cause you to blow up like that.

Now to be fair, sometimes people do not listen when you are trying to help them. You can tell them till you are blue in the face and it is almost like yelling at a brick wall.  But if the indiscretion has happened, please take care of it right then. Do not let it fester. I feel sometimes , these feel like a 30 sec society. Just like with advertisements or ads,  we sometimes forget that working things out takes time and not all things can be solved quickly.

Also, taken care of the issue when it happens, lessens the amount of stress in your life and with how the world is going these days, try and alleviate as much stress as possible.

We have a enough BS that we deal with oh the regular and you should not have to just hold things in just cause you want to spare feelings. People sometimes for get that each relationship has two people.. So therefore, you have to not only worry about what your feeling but you have to be prepared for what their response is. I was talking about this with my sister this morning and we came to the conclusion that all these new technologies have crippled mankind’s ability to actually have manners and be respectful to each other.

Good people, handle every issue when it happens and arises especially when you know it is going to affect you way past that moment. Though everything that happens is not earth shattering, taking care of at the time will save you heartache later on.

The New World War – War on Women

Well well well. There is a new world war. Here I am thinking it’s going to be a nuclear holocaust, Post apocalyptic ,zombie filled, Four horsemen and all we know of what could happen.

Instead in this new millennium, Male senators and congressman decide that the real threat in the world is not nuclear but biological. It seems the United States now wants to control what a woman does with her reproductive organs.

Please take a look at these articles Georgia , Arizona and Texas. Why are these men that are born from women all of sudden feeling the need to control womens’ reproductive organs?When did this become an issue for Congress and the government to worry about? Please advise when church and state need to control when I give birth, should I give birth or even carrying a still-born fetus to term?

What the hell is going on people? I mean there has always been a battle of the sexes but now some Man wants to control what my insides do or don’t do? Please advise me oh wise and all-knowing congressman, what would your lives had been had your mothers decided not to have you. Oh yes , that’s right . Your dumb ass would not be here. All this control men want to have on women’s reproductive systems when they cannot even control themselves.

How many times have we heard politicians doing BS things not respecting the sanctity of marriage? I guess this is where the lack of respect begins for men. Secretly hating their mothers, wives, sisters, aunts and nieces because somehow we are the bane of their existence. WE MAKE UP YOUR EXISTENCE. WE ARE A PART OF EACH OTHER. There should be no reason for women having to plea with men to leave our bodies alone. We can in no way shape or form tell men where they can stick or not stick their penises.

SO my plea to this government, Take care of real issues, American Healthcare, education, economy and stop trying to blindside us with bullshit propaganda and get back to job that my taxes are paying you to do.

We plan, God Laughs…. and boy is he laughing at me

Hey Good people. Well this has been somewhat of a weird week. Last week I was “let go” or to put as my ex boss did ” I can no longer put you on the schedule”. Basically I was fired.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Please no one cry bloody murder. I made a mistake and though in my eyes not a huge one (Like theft or hurting someone), It was enough to get me terminated. Honestly, being fired didn’t hurt as much as thought but after careful reflection, I figured out why. I did not like the new regimen that came into the place. We all know how it is when different personalities come rolling up in places and when you are used to doing certain things and then the rules change or maybe your personality just doesn’t get along with. The most constant in life is change and when it comes, how we react to it, determines how ours lives will go.

I know I do not mind a few days off. After all, this time off, I have been able to blog more and get more of my ideas out for my two books, and really re-connect with people. Inherently, I know I am still shy though some would never know it.

From my previous posts, you all have seen what I wanted to accomplish this year but to lack of funds, some ideas are now on a different time frame. Notice I said time frame and not back burner. My dreams I realize are not meant to live in the back burner but they each have a time for them to come to fruition.

It is time for me to stop waiting for things to get done when it requires me to do them. I have been writing these books for years and I think God finally just sat my ass down and is saying

“LOOK. GET THEM DONE. TIRED OF HEARING YOU BITCH AND TALK ABOUT THEM. JUST DO IT.” (Also, should that last part offend anyone over religious, get over yourselves. I have a healthy relationship with God and he talks to me the way any caring parent would when their child is or has lost their way).

I am now working on stressing not working if that makes any sense. After all, I do have bills I do have to pay but truth be told, I could not have a home, a caring and loving mom, or be dying from a incurable disease. I am slowly beginning to realize, I need to be happy and thankful.. I mean truly thankful… for all that I have been blessed with. We are all a product of our thoughts and these negative thoughts need to go.

Enjoy your Saturday Loves. I got some work to do

 

 

 

 

 

“Don’t Phunk with my Heart” – is he playing?

Hey Lovelies. Hope all is well in your world. This little POV today about someone coming back in my life. Now, I haven’t spoken this person in about 11 years so believe when I am feeling a bit suspicious. After all, I really do not many men that actually think about wanted to contact someone after 11 years especially when they have been married and recently divorced.

Now to say he has said everything to get back into my heart and while I will admit, it has worked… a huge wall came crashing down almost immediately because realism came in an sat itself in my heart.  After all, he came into my life after I put set plans into motion and my emotions began to derail me from my goals. Now, while I love being in love, as I have have gotten older, I have become quite realistic about love. I have things I wished to accomplish and though there a saying ” we plan and god laughs”, I know that he has put me on a path. My Biggest query is to whether this person that has come back what his purpose is here.. to help or to dissuade. After honestly thinking about it, I realized he isn’t going to stop me from my goals and if he really cares , he would not stand in my way.  The other side of the coin is he has some old baggage that he honestly needs to care of before any woman enters his life or he begins a new relationship. I really don’t know too many women who will tolerate his ex wife’s stuff still taking residence in his apt almost a yr after they divorced. If there are lingering feelings, he will need to deal with those and in his own time. No one can rush how someone is not supposed to feel..as the song goes Life goes on …and so do I