There is a special place in my heart for Asian Men

Now before anybody gets their bowels in an uproar and start griping, please let me explain. I am an african american female who for the past 33 ( soon to be 34 years) has always been open to learning about people.  My dating life started around the age of 16 when my first bf (believe it or not) was japanese. When I first started going out with him, I did not think anything of it and the people around us did not seem to have a problem. This began my love for not only asian men but all asian cultures. I have always been fascinated by most cultures because what better way to learn about people than to know where they came from.  Throughout my dating life, I have dated white men, black men and asian men. I have actually had the 3 asian boyfriends and 3 black boyfriends. Not that  I planned it that way but that the way it played out.  Now while I am not so naive to think I was the only black woman who loved asian men, it surprised to find out what the ramifications are when dating them. I googled search about asian men and black women and found all this information and YouTube videos about how people feel about this particular dating structure. What I found was really shocking to me.  People give these people strange looks, how each races family feels about it,how their friends felt about and so on.  I even came across a discussion board where a young black lady posted are there any asian guys out there that like black women? Next thing you know, someone posts I will assume a black guy says, what you need is a black man.  Really?!?!?!?  How can you honestly say that she needs a black man?  We have no idea what she needs and if she is attracted to asian men, then leave your bs opinions to yourself. Who are we to judge?  I understand completely that dating within your race gives you a better comfort level but you cannot help who you like. I have read about how asian men are slighted because they are short and their own women don’t want them. That they are too shy, too reserved, not confident and such so asian women date or go out with white men. Now  I being born and raised in NYC, I can tell you have seen more asian/asian couples than Asian and white couples so I am really not sure where they found the Asian ladies to ask.  I rarely see any asian couples that aren’t asian/asian or asian/white. What also came out googling this was that stereotypical misconception that Asian ladies are quiet and demure and submissive. UM NO. I have known quite a few lovely and feisty Asian ladies who can hold their own with their lives and with their mates.  But during my 15 years dating life I have had multiple crushes on Asian guys and have dated Japanese, Chinese and Filipino so I guess I may be ahead of the curve.  My only problem now is actually finding an Asian guy that is tall that would want to date a tall african american woman. Could it happen? Possibly I mean this city is big enough but I leave up to the universe. Will that stop me from dating other races? Nope. I realized a long time ago that love comes in different packages. You can’t help who you are attracted too. What still boggles my mind is with the huge amount of mixed children, why is dating outside your race still an issue. I have learned to just follow my heart.

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “There is a special place in my heart for Asian Men

  1. There is nothing wrong with following your heart if that is how you feel about a person,place, thing and/or an idea. However,you should also stay open to dating other men. Kind of reminds of petty experiences with food, it looks bad and you refuse to eat,but once you take a little bite of it, you really dig how it tastes and from then on,it becomes one your favorites foods.

    Like food, that is how I see men and life. Yes, You have a desire for something and you carry that wish of that special man in your heart,but it doesn’t necessarily mean that he is always the man for you. It’s good that you have dated other races of men, otherwise, your scope of good men could have became too narrow.and increase your chances of missing out on the man of your dreams. I’ve known people who swore that they were would never date/marry, for instance, someone who from a certain race,but end up being with them and vice versa. I’ve learned that lesson early on in my life.

    Just let nature take it’s course. It would be great if you’re able to get the man of your dreams,but if they’re not and if it’s meant to be ,let it be.If he’s a great Asian man get him and if he’s a great non-asian man that you’re attractcted to get him.At the end of the day it all boils down to finding a great guy.

  2. Nice write-up. Like you, I am especially attracted to Asian men. I am over 50 yrs old and I find it hard to believe that since the beginning of time the pairing of AMBW is not commonplace. In such a historical age of technological advancement, growth of global culture remains stunted. Unbelievable. By the way, I must say, that Naomie Harris (“Mika,” Ninja Assassin) is one lucky dog! Bi-Rain is one of the FINEST men I have ever seen! Good Lawd!!!

  3. im dating an asian guy and what i mean hes amazing hes AMAZING!!!!! ^^ ive dated some guys….but this guy is the best ^^ we have so much in common^^

    • Cindy, I am glad you found some one that you have some in common with. It still amazes me how it can be seen as taboo to be in an AMBW relationship. I think humans forget sometimes that love know no color and we are all part of one race, The human one.. CONGRATS!!!!!

  4. I am a black (American) woman. I love ALL men, but am partial to Asian men. Can’t help it– been like that all my life (before I became consciously aware of it). It totally boggles my mind that people have problems with the AMBW-combo. I really don’t get it. I don’t get that race is such a BIG issue. I get that culture, religion, or even politics can cause some problems (if you let it), but if you can hold a basic respect for another persons’s beliefs, then even those specific differences should not pose a problem. Skin color– the most non-significant factor– somehow takes precedence over the things that should matter. When teachers or racism were passing out prejudice, I wasn’t even on campus! There is nothing sweeter than seeing people with obvious difference come together (in love, friendship, or whatever) and embrace the elements they have in common– like being human. I am old enough to have two grown children and a grandchild, and I still don’t get the tailspin that AMBW relationships send some people into. It’s stupid. I’d marry an Asian man tomorrow– with no prenup! 😉

  5. I’m only 17 right now and where i live dating people of other races still seems to be a big problem but I’ve always been attracted to Asian men i don’t know what it is but even since my first crush(who was Asian) i’ve always had a strong attraction to Asian men Buti never said i wouldn’t date all races..Race is not an issue to me and Im glad i found other women who were like me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s