As the year comes to a close, I usually always take a look back and see really how the year was. 2010 was tumultuous and completely nerve racking. It has had its highs and its lows almost like being on a roller coaster. Emotionally, I have been through the ringer mostly because I keep many things bottled up for not matter how much I express myself verbally, i have realized that it is just easier to shut up and internalize and fix later. What 2010 did bring was some old people back into my life. Not old by age, but old by how long i have known them and how long i have not seen them. I tried to see what ” things” these people have brought that I may have not been paying attention too. They both introduce the thought of changing certain things and trying not to be so stifled by the what is expected. As with most of us, money was an issue this year. Who I owe and who owes me. Sad truth , the ones that may owe me I will probably never see the money because they are the kings of excuses as to why they cant pay. The people I owe already know my cash flow situation but I know 2011 will be a banner year to pay everyone and make 2012 a clean slate. With that I am surely determined. End of 2010 brought a major low and opened my eyes again to something I had already seen and felt in my gut. 2010 brought a level a of depression in me which I truly do not like but I am working on it. After all, I can only help get through this myself. No one can help me through my own Bullshit.
2010 was definitely a gut wrenching year but that was expected. Can only get what back what you put out so all the negativity I put out I got back 3 fold.
I go into 2011 with more positive thoughts as well as getting my self fully adapted to the changes I know are coming. They are going to come fast and hard and I truly need to be ready for it.