Do you guys remember when you were kids or children ( since kids are babay goats) and you would say whatever and either bring pride or shame to your parents
(depending on what you said). I can say I loved those days only because you could truly speak the truth and like it or not, it was out there for the world and the universe to listen.
I am an only child so growing up I would play with my barbies and I mean every barbie ( white, black, asian whatever different race they came out with my mom would buy) Michael Jackson dolls, Jem and the holograms ( including Misfits, Rio I guess you could say I was spoiled but having my mom tell it never was to her). I would play out all these adult scenarios (and no, not x rated) But relationships of families, Marriages, boyfriends, girlfriends, break ups, make ups. All these scenarios I made up were from either situations hearing from my family or watching tv.
The reason for the long-winded prelude is to just illustrate that as kids , we only were privy to information we saw or heard or over heard. Though our parents we teach us right from wrong, the filter to self edit gets learned later. I think I learned the art of self edit after I graduated high school. I did not learn about truth hurting until later on in life (honest). In high school, I told my friends about themselves when they did something wrong. I always felt right was right and wrong was wrong. This however, did not always when me friends and looking back, I am kinda glad. As an adult, I have people in my life who are fully aware of the rawness around my edges and I can give as well as can take. (Taking took a little time but I finally fell into it)
Now I know as an Adult, we get into situations where we need to put on our game faces. Some people will come at you and say well, ” YOU ARE BEING TWO-FACED” Gimme a f&*king break. That is called growing up (especially in the work place). We all know how we can’t say certain things to customers, our co-workers and our bosses because we have no idea what people sensitivity threshold is and especially our bosses. Let’s get real… Most people in charge ( not all) have a complex about being in charge and freak out if questioned and if you don’t get fired, your life will be made so miserable you will want to leave.
The Art of the Self Edit is something learned from years on being on the this planet and being surrounded by people. Listening to conversations, watching TV and movies, learning what words to use, finding that synonyms are your friend for those that may not be up to your intellect.
( that sounded condescending but we have all run into someone and have questioned how they survived this long.. Just saying)
The most I can say is try not to self edit with those who you call your best or truly close friends. You know the ones you treat like family. The ones who know you raw and uncut and still love ya. Don’t self edit with those people because if they really love you, they wont self edit with you. People always get unhinged when people argue with them but realize people argue cause they care. When you don’t care, you don’t fight and you don’t disagree.
I have some fabulous people in my life who I do not have to self edit with and I love them Forever.