Dark Girls – Preview ( documentary about exploring deep seated biases and attitudes about color)

While cruising around FaceBook a couple of days ago, my friend posted a video link about a new documentary called Dark Girls. This documentary speaks on the deep seated biases and attitudes about color especially with dark skinned women. Watching this documentary hurt my heart. I sat there watching all these beautiful women of color speak of the hurt that they had to endure just because of the color of their skin. It is bad enough when black people get it from other races, but this hate is coming from other black people. Our slave history has locked us into this mentality and because of the separation back then, it only enhances it now.  The documentary preview also showed an interview with what I consider a young black man who stated that dark skin women do not look good next to him and he prefers lighter skinned women. When I heard that , I wanted to smack the hell out of him. How do you not appreciate your own blood? I would love to know what his parents look like. His ignorance only reinforced why black people cannot unify.  Some of our own men do not even like us but I bet he would be the same one to have a snide remark if he saw a black woman with a another race. (i digress).  Then they showed a young lady ( I assume she was a senior in high school) she stated that she feels natural hair is “DIRTY LOOKING”.She felt her natural hair is dirty looking. ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SERIOUS YOUNG LADY!!!!!??????? It is the hair you were born with and you feel it is dirty. Talk about a warped sense of self. Yes there are some black women who have a softer texture  but we were born with a tight curl and if any of you know anything about black hair care companies, there are so many products now for natural hair that it is staggering.  But to say that natural hair is dirty, girl please check yourself.

I honestly cannot wait to see the full length documentary to just learn more about how deep this self hatred goes. Divide and conquer is what they use in wars and in the war against black people, it has and still seems to be a very powerful weapon.

We cannot help they way we are born. We cannot determine our skin tone ( no matter how much science seems to want to make a race of super babies) but I thought in this supposedly progressive times we would have gotten better. I guess I was wrong.

I do hope you all check out this documentary.

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Going out on Limb…….

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I read the book “the secret” sometime last year. It spoke of how to manifest your wants and your dreams.  Now since I was little, I have manifested things. ( Now do not get freaked) Just wishing for things that would make me happy.  These days, my manifests and dreams are few and far between. I mean I have created a vision board and put the things on it that I want, but the universe

Come on.. dont be so selfish 🙂

is taking its sweet ole time to give em up.  But I noticed that when I think of things to me are not huge ( and we all have huge dreams), I have thoughts about spending time with someone or wishing my friend gets the job they want, it manages to happen for them or that person just magically appears.

So am I wondering? why are my dreams being deferred? Is the universe telling me to not be so selfish and my dreams will come. Maybe I just need to use my powers for the good of my friends. After all, they mean as much to me as my dreams do. The one thing I did manifest for myself was to p

parlay a better schedule for myself at my job.

see.. I told you.. MAGIC!!!!

I went out a limb asking my boss for a different schedule. after all, in this economy sometimes you can’t afford to be too brazen but I realized that I needed to take care of myself. I am currently taking online classes to get my second degree in Fashion Merchandising so I need time to write papers and read and look  and listen to classes. Working nights was not working  so I decided to ask for an earlier shift. I know it was a long shot but I got it and honestly, I am very happy.

So maybe the universe is gonna help me as long as I keep taking these leaps of faith so here we go……weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Weeeeeeee

Do you have a soundtrack for your life?

The thought above popped into my head while I was at work working on jewelry accessories.  I usually listen to my ipod

ooo I-Touch, i so need a new one

on my way to work and before my store opens. The reason being music speaks to my soul and always has. The saying music soothes savage beast, it is true. Human nature can sometimes be very savage.  Now, this isn’t to say that I feel like a savage beast when I wake up in the morning ( at most, I feel like a hot mess) 🙂 My I-Touch is full of variety. You can find Classical, R&B, 70’s, 80’s, 90’s, millennium, pop, rock, international, Techno, instrumental, rap, hip hop and so on. I really try not to discriminate when it comes to music because I listen for beat and words and I always take my friends recommendations. After all, how can I find the soundtrack of my life by just by listening to one type of music?????

These days I am listening to more K-Pop and techno and whatever is currently on I-tunes top 10 ( maybe except for sir Justin beiber but I have one song of his, just not listening to anything else from him right now). The K-pop came about because of  recommendations from my boyfriend’s cousin ( Hi Lady M) and people I found on Tumblr (told you I was a Tumblr fiend). Never realized how much music is over there and how over psycho some of the fans  are. I swore in the U.S. they were bad but nothing compares to those fans that idolize Korean pop stars.

Anyhoo, when I thought about the soundtrack for my life, I realized that my I-pod is perfect for me. Though I don’t consider myself over moody, Sometimes my Ipod will give me the right song just for picking up my mood.

My current soundtrack is as follows:

Sofi Needs a ladder (original Mix) – DeadMau5

Cosmic Girl (classic mix) – Jamiroquai

Killer/papa was rolling stone – George michael

Universal Mind Control- Common

Keep Your Head Down – TVXQ

Beautiful People – Chris Brown featuring Benny Benassi

Nu Abo – f(x)

Alright (fred Falke remix) – Jamiroquai

Superthug – Noreaga

Strong Baby(cover) – Various artists

Da Rockwilder – Method Man & redman

Run the world Girls – Beyonce

Whats your soundtrack??

What a Surprise :) I am a featured blogger on Bloggers.com today

Hey blog Family.

I got a wonderful email this morning from bloggers.com.

Bloggers.com to me
show details 8:21 AM (9 hours ago)

Hello Janine:

Congratulation!

You have been featured on BLOGGERS as one of the Bloggers of the day. Your profile and Blog “Life and Times of Draco Photography” has been showcased in Bloggers Home page (http://bloggers.com). In addition to that you are awarded with Featured bloggers badge on your profile.

Thank you again for your brilliant work. Enjoy the latest features and tell your friends to join this wonderful community.

regards

Thank you
The Bloggers Team

I am truly honored.  I am so happy that I have also gained some new friends on bloggers.com so I have much reading to do. From my perspective,   I just write whatever may cross my mind that day. I just want to say THANK YOU BLOGGERS.COM

Bloggers.com

Check me , Im featured blogger Number 2

Did you make it????… I hope so

Well hello out there. Did you survive the end of days as marked by Harold Camping? In fact  Australia and Japan survived and I didn’t see a peep about anything wrong over on CNN.

I know I did and I sincerely hope you did too. This man told people who at 6pm in each time zone, the world would suffer a global earthquake

😦

and the true end of days would be October 21st.  Now we all know about the Mayan calendar prediction of December 21st, 2012. It seems the number 21 has significance in the end of days. Most people who I talked to about this Camping prediction did not even know what the hell I was talking about or if they did, completely called the man crazy or insane.  I was also told that bible states that man will not know the hour of the world’s end only the Father knows. So Am I to believe that since Mr. Camping predicted this, That he is Father in human form? UHH  NO!The four horsemen of the apocalypse

Now we have seen many movies talking about the end of days. In fact there was movie with that title. We have had Armageddon,Deep Impact, and  huge plethora of post apocalyptic movies that include the world being full of zombies

It's Zombies Children

or mankind turning into cannibals. We even have timeline movies like terminator in which robots come back in time to try to save the savior of the world.

Now, with all the movies and stories we have heard of or seen, one thing is clear. Mankind survives by the skin  of its teeth because of super drill on meteor that drops a bombs that splits it, We still have weaponry because somehow bullets never ran out in the future cause no matter where you live there a gun shop. There is some human who can kick ass and kill every zombie if they are outnumbered, Somehow as a dead zombie, you have super human speed and can run like no ones business, but i digress.

Anyhoo, not to be a bummer but seriously people, we cannot predict when the world when end or when bad things happen. I know they are talking about well look about what we see and hear on the news about the earthquakes , tsunamis, tornadoes, floods and hurricanes. Let us be real. Mother nature controls that, we don’t. We may have exacerbated it with what we release into our atmosphere and our oceans, but no matter how hard we try, (SAY IT WITH ME) WE CANNOT CONTROL NATURE!!!

What I will say is this day has taught  some of us to look at our lives and hopefully be better people. Not everyone will change, after all that is human nature and people will change when they want but I did make sure I did have a good day today with my boyfriend and his friends and then am home with my family.

Just remember, live your life as best as you can. Be the best person you can be and you will go back to your maker or if you’re an atheist become dust with out wondering if you did everything you were supposed to in this life. 

Robots Again.. dammit

ooooooooo lookie here……. Interracial Dating

Since that blog I posted yesterday,  I decided to truly stop beating myself and write whatever I feel like on my blog, After all, its my blog so

ok Ok .. enough of me being immature. Anyhoo, as of March 2011, I became a Tumblr fiend. Fiend in the sense I freaking scour it everyday whether on my laptop or my phone. ( yeah yeah, don’t judge me) I have had the account since October of 2010 but did not really get into it until March. At first, i just didn’t understand what it was, then when my friend explained it was microblogging site, it really didn’t click till i took the time to surf around.  You may be asking what the hell does this have to do with interracial dating ( Well I’m getting to it)

So while on Tumblr (www.tumblr.com, get an account, you know you wanna), I found a blog for Black Women and Asian Men http://blackwomenasianmen.tumblr.com (which I totally follow).  The blog is dedicated to Asian Male and Black women couples and these couples are free to post images and submit stories of their relationships.  The reason why I follow the blog is because I have been in more than one Asian Male/ Black woman relationship and currently in one ( hi hunny). My mom taught me to be open-minded so I have dated Black , White, Japanese, Korean, Filipino. I have not dated a Hispanic man or Indian ( whether native or east ) not because I did not want to, I just never to seem to be in the places or single at the time to do so.

Anyway, the owner of the blog posted a video from YouTube (<—- click on that for video)from a black woman  explaining her take on why AMBW relationships really don’t work.

When the owner of the blog on Tumblr posted it, they felt they would lose followers because of what the young lady said. Now I will admit some of the things she says are true, but again it is her opinion. after all, someone asked her to give her opinion on it and you know what they say about opinions, everyone has one.

What she says in the video about how Asian parents feel about their boys bringing home a black girl is true to a point but I have decided to give you my take on interracial relationships in general no matter what the mixture is.If your parents are old school and you have older generations still alive in your family, guess what? they potentially will have a problem with you bringing home anyone that is not the same race as them. After all, in the times the grew up in , racism was huge ( it still is but now its just hidden racism but that’s another blog). There is somethings that some older  people always worry about and that is possibly diluting the blood line.  Sounds weird I know, but blood means a lot to people who don’t want races to mix. After all, mixture of DNA sometimes can produce weird things. Now before anyone gets their blood boiling, I am not calling mixed children weird things. Personally, the whole DNA things boggles my mind cause it doesn’t just deal with the current DNA but deal with the DNA of your entire family.  ( Yeah Sit and spin that in your mind for a minute).  After all, I am  african american female with naturally strawberry blonde hair born of two parents with dark brown hair but the red hair recessive gene decided to pop up after not showing up for a few generations and to think I had a one in four chance of being a redhead and guess what , I got blessed. Yes , I said blessed because I only truly as I got older really loved it, but when I was young being called Little Orphan Annie (so not cute). ( Yes that is what I look like and yes I was trying to be a model.The only change really is I my hair is now afro and I wear my glasses)

Yes that's me too

24 yr old me

So I can understand why some older generations have issues with races mixing. Each race comes with its own issues of what may be potential health problems and I know most people want happy and healthy children.

My issues with interracial dating is when people say they only date this race. REALLY!!!!!?!!!!?!?!?!?!  Why o why do you only date this race?

Sometimes I swear it is a fetish thing or phase. Most things that are different from what people consider their norm is exciting and new.You know what the truth is… we are all still people. Yes the outside packaging may be different but we are still people.  People who may have the same issues and baggage like  the next.  What people’s parents will need to realize is, if  they immigrated here and your children were born in the land of free, home of the free ( or weird… 10 points if anyone can remember where that saying is from), please be forewarned they are going to want experience all this country has to offer and that includes dating outside their race.   But for those that are dating inter-racially,  please oh please (i’m begging) 

begging.. see my bones

don’t make this  a phase thing and if it is… get it out of your system quick.  I am all for people being open-minded and learning about new cultures beyond theirs, but don’t think because you may have watched a novella, listen to k-pop, ate a slice of pizza, had some hummus, drank a Guinness, watched a french film and all the other plethora of things you can do to claim you love another race just to say you will only date that race. GET REAL!!!!  When you date, date you who are physically and mentally attracted to. I know that means kissing a lot of frogs or dealing with a lot of others people’s baggage, but Be a better informed date before you make yourself a designation to just one.

Thanks for your time 😉

( Not like I stated anything truly knew because those with common sense knew this already )

Finding my way……. am I passionless?!?!?!?!?

It has been a hot minute aka 2 Months and 7 days since I have posted in my blog. I remembered when I started this blog, it was supposed to be about my photography and building the Draco Photography brand.  Fast Forward almost 4 years and things has changed.

1) I hardly take pictures anymore.  I can try to place blame on my job and not having enough time but truth is if I was truly passionate about taking pictures, I would carry my camera everyday and snap anything I saw on my way to work and on my way home. What I realize is that while I loved taking pictures, the one bad incident I had with a paid gig has soured me against taking money for photography. It is not because I do not want to ( after all, with the way times are, I need any extra income I can get), it’s that people are extremely fickle and I would rather not deal with the Bullshit.

I do not mind taking pictures of my friends or their families because most of the time I know them and built a comfort level with them. I mean I can build a comfort level with most people because I know i am nice person ( to point). But , now I am not creatively inspired to picture up my behemoth aka Nikon D200, the workhorse aka Nikon D70 or the stream liner aka Panasonic Lumix DMZ-TZ5. All these cameras to me are amazing but when you are in funk and constantly worrying about finding something to do that your passionate about, things you thought you loved then get neglected.  Photography and I are not on speaking terms right now and I have been mulling over selling my cameras just to have extra cash.

2) Not really working in the fashion industry the way I would like. I truly applaud the people I know like Sue Rock who is a designer and has her own line and left the comfort of a regular job to do what she loves, Jameka Whitten who has crafted her marketing mind and prowess to bring the Queen City to forefront of fashion while parlaying herself as  a social media coordinator at her job she works from 9-5, Tamara Walker who has become a PR guru for fashion and media commentator on the plus size/ figure model market place, Like Chuck Holliday who took his skills to parlay not ony keeping his businesses running but filming for NBC, Jason Anderson who I consider a tech guru and has made his name to be recognized when new gadgetry comes out, Johnny Gonzalez who makeup and hair artistry continue to amaze with each shot I see of his work, Joa who Let go and his net appeared beneath him and his wings have never been so wide.  Even As I type this I am crying because I don’t know if I will ever have the courage to truly let go and let life take me on a journey.

Being 34 soon to be 35, I always wonder if it too late for me. I talk as if I am ancient but sometimes I feel that way. I base so hard in reality that sometimes I am truly afraid to dream. I love people who are not afraid to dream and I always  want people’s dreams to come true. But I know I am my own worst enemy.

3) Procrastination is my enemy. She and I fight all the time and she usually wins cause I allow it.  I never seem to finish things I have put so much time into. For example, I have been writing a book on how people can be better shoppers. Have I finished?!?!?! Almost but again I put things in my way instead of just finishing and self publishing. Why not? After all many people self publish. Seems to be the way to go since everything is going electronic.  I have also been writing a tawdry novel for 6 years and the book almost to the end and I have yet to finish writing it.  I would like to say I didn’t have time but that s BS. Most people who want something , will find time? so it is just I don’t want anything for my life? Am I afraid that people make like it and then there will be expectations put on me. I do not know if I fear success and much as I  fear failure.

Believe as I type I am fighting against her but whats moving me to type if the fact I have my IPOD on and music is pouring in to my soul.  Music has always soothed my soul and For that I am thankful for every note, every beat and every song that has touched my ears, my heart and my soul.

4) Trying to brand myself. Gone are the days of big corporations branding themselves so they are etched into our minds as dependable brands but no we as normal human beings need to brand ourselves to the world to prove we are capable of doing the job or task put in front of us. How can a human being possibly truly brand themselves when most people do not know themselves. I have been looking for a new job because I want security ( 401k, medical, dental, eye) but what I am slowly realizing is none of these things are secure. Shit The recession showed us nothing is secure and this world is not secure. For example, I have learned that in 4 days the world will suffer a global earthquake and if anyone should survive, the survivors will suffer until the world really ends on Oct 21st. Jeez, I honestly wish someone had told me sooner. Maybe then I would not have been afraid to do things and not make safe choices and just live life.

5) Being afraid to post anything online. After all, now applying for a job is like trying to work for the government. They delve deep into your records, check your Facebook, Twitter, WordPress, LiveJournal, YouTube, Google, Yahoo, Bing, MySpace, Tumblr or anything net related to see what your stance is on this or on that. Whether or not you bad mouth your boss, your job, potential companies.  Now while some people are foolish enough to add their bosses to their friends list and then proceed to bad mouth them or their job, some things are truly no potential employers business. We are human and we all have bad days and are fallible. I guess what these jobs are trying to figure is if you crack under the pressure. Problem is, will they spend a long enough time in your past to see how long you have dealt with things before you reach your boiling point?

6) Not truly depending on my friends. I have tried my best not to burden my friends more than once a year I guess with the problems and burdens that swirl in my head and chew at my soul. After all, all humans have issues but not all the time to your friends want to hear yours. I guess that is why I usually keep very quiet and introspect a lot but I need to stop that. Me overthinking causes me grief and people who may not have done anything stupid drama which is not needed.

7) Constantly beating myself up as to why I am not being called for a job. I do not know if it is my job history or the experience I have that may scare Human resources from calling me but I want to go in to buying. I want to start as a merchandise assistant and work my way up. I cannot fathom that with the positions I see open , why I never get a call.  I realize that it is who you know, BUt I do not know anyone that has access to GUCCI’s Human resource department, or Saks’ HR department or Bergdorf’s( YES I DREAM BIG). I know full well I am capable of any job presented to me not just because of my job experience, but I love to learn. I learned that about myself from a young age. I get bored with tedium and routine. There has something learned during anytime at any job that will make me more prepared for the next step. I know that may sound like I would step on someone to get ahead, but not at all. I can work both independently and with  team and learn from everyone around me.

8) I have read the secret and trying my best to change my mind’s thoughts to be more positive but reality is  bitch . Yes people are mean, money is tight, times are not good but I am supposed to trigger my mind to think more positive. Forgive me but that will be hard.

9) Starting the blog for the wrong reasons. I started this blog and my other blogs with the unrealistic expectation of becoming blogger famous. After all, we have all heard the stories of bloggers who are famous and now are the taste makers, there are still millions who will never see a affiliate check. But I realized, those people get paid and are famous because they found their passion.

Which leads back to me. Am I passionless or just a scatter-brained human being who still trying to find her niche after 19 years of being in the workforce? I am sure my age is probably a factor which I why I don’t mention it anymore. Not that I am ashamed of my years, but I keep getting told I look younger than my age, so I am going to roll with it.

I am honestly making an effort to find what I am passionate about. While I love my family, friends, boyfriend, adopted fam, I really need to find my passion and stop being so afraid.  PLEASE GOD LET MY NET NOT HAVE A BIG HOLE IN IT 🙂